I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
