i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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