Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
