great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
