if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
