STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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