We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
