No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
