I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
