He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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