So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
