Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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