Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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