shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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