when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
