Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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