I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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