Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
