TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
