drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
