My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
