what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
