Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
