used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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