With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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