1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
