id be glad to
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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