maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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