i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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