you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
