he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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