There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
