question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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