so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
