you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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