Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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