Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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