You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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