Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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