and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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