Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
