some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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