I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
should my penis look like a turkey
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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