You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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