is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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