nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
