i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
