Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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