Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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