It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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