i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
